


I've never truly loved 'till you put your arms around me

by StealtheRest



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StealtheRest/pseuds/StealtheRest
Summary: "And so they stood like that. Josh and Donna. In the entry to his apartment, holding each other and not wanting to let go."OrJosh and Donna + hugs
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 14
Kudos: 91





	I've never truly loved 'till you put your arms around me

The first time they hugged was when Josh returned from his dad’s funeral. 

She had told him the news of his father’s death and Josh’s life had become a whirlwind of sorts. He was immediately making phone calls and off to the airport. Donna called him throughout the few days that he was in Connecticut, wishing she could be there with him but she still wasn’t 100% sure of her place and didn’t want to overstep. So she called, often, and made sure to speak to his mother as well. 

When Josh returned to the campaign, he had a determined look on his face and his eyes were pleading for anybody and everybody to not give their condolences. Of course, everyone did and Josh spent most of that first day thanking everyone for how sorry they were for his loss.

When Donna first saw Josh that morning, he was surrounded by Toby and CJ and Sam and she just didn’t know her place yet and didn’t think he even liked being surrounded by all these people. They all gave him sympathetic looks and went back to their work to get Governor Bartlet elected president. 

Donna, however, couldn’t stop thinking about Josh and the sister he only recently told her he lost and now his father. And she couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Josh’s face when she told him the news and she couldn’t stop thinking about how she had been the one to put that look there. 

Donna started to walk towards Josh. 

“Hey can you get me the numbers on-“

Josh was cut off by Donna wrapping herself around him in their first actual hug. 

She didn’t say anything. He didn’t either. 

They were so close in height that they were both easily able to put their heads in the crooks of each other’s necks. 

Donna’s arms were wrapped tightly around Josh and found herself gently rocking them.

Neither were sure for how long exactly that hug lasted but it didn’t matter. It was exactly what Josh needed on that very day. 

***   
When they won the presidency, Josh had, unsurprisingly, gone to Donna first. He picked her up off the ground and twirled her around, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

“We’re going to the White House, Donna,” he had said gently, but with clear excitement, in her ear.

And they did. 

***   
“I meant it.”

Josh’s head is buried in Donna’s hair and he can smell the vanilla shampoo she uses. He breathes her in, happy that his message to her in an old book brought her such joy, and he’s even happier for this rare change to hold her like this. 

She pulled away all too quickly, toeing that line between professionalism and, well, love, and made a joke about skis but Josh leaves the White House with a slight bounce in his step that night and Donna goes to sleep with a small smile on her face. 

***  
“Donna?”

She had her bags packed and was headed out the door as his voice, quiet and timid, brought her back into his apartment.

Donna had been basically staying with him throughout his recovery. It was never officially spoken of, but Josh needed help and well, Donna wanted to be the one to help him. Especially when he had nightmares. 

Tomorrow, Josh was to return to work and Donna wouldn’t need to be at his apartment day and night. 

It was hard for both of them.

But it was good, she kept reminding herself. This meant that he was healing. 

She was just about to leave when he called her name.

“I just-“ He took a breath. “I just don’t know how…I’m not good at, well you know I’m not good at this but…thank you.”

He looked her directly in the eye, his sincerity clear.

She dropped her bags and the next thing she knew they were holding on to each other. Tight. Neither wanting to let go. 

“You don’t need to thank me Josh,” she said quietly into his ear. She felt tears threatening to fall and pushed her face deeper into his neck. 

He didn’t respond, he just held on tighter. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently kissed her temple, and rested his forehead on her shoulder. 

And so they stood like that. Josh and Donna. In the entry to his apartment, holding each other and not wanting to let go. 

***  
Josh and Donna held hands as Josh got stitches. She tried to distract him through random Moss family stories that he usually found entertaining, but what was really distracting him was the way Donna was gently brushing her thumb up and down the side of his hand. 

After, as they walked back to his apartment, he told her.

“I didn’t cut my hand on a glass”

She remained silent, silently beginning him to continue.

“I put my hand through a window.”

He looked up at her and was relieved to not see pity in her eyes, so he continued.

“Donna, I have PTSD.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Josh-“ She just looked at him. She didn’t finish her thought. She didn’t have to. Because of course Donna knew Josh had PTSD. Of course Donna was the first one concerned for his wellbeing. Of course Donna was the one who brought her concerns to Leo.

“Come here,” she insisted.

“Donna, we don’t have to-“

“Josh come here.”

And so he went into her waiting arms where he found the comfort he had been craving all day.

***

When Donna got called into the White House after she had gone home for the night, she panicked. 

This only happened in emergencies. 

Thankfully, Josh was the one to call her, to tell her to come back to his office, so at least she knew he was okay.

He didn’t give her a reason as to her summons, but his voice sounded remorseful, like he wanted to be doing anything but calling her and asking her to come back in. Like he didn’t want to be delivering the news he was about to deliver. 

She entered his office and found him sitting on his desk like he had been waiting for her. 

“Josh what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

“Donna, something happened tonight.”

“What happened?”

“There was an accident,” he said.

He didn’t want to tell her. He knew how close she and Mrs. Landingham were. He knew Mrs. Landingham had provided Donna the comfort she so badly needed during his time in the hospital. He knew this would devastate her. 

He didn’t want to tell her. Somewhere in the back of Josh’s mind he realized that giving Donna bad news was not a strength of his. Perhaps this is why he didn’t tell her about the president’s MS.

“The president?” Donna exclaimed, bringing a hand to her mouth.

“No. The president is okay. Donna, Mrs. Landingham was in a car accident. She died.”

Donna didn’t say anything. Her face turned white and Josh was momentarily panicked that she was actually going to throw up. 

As he saw her eyes start to fill with tears he got up off her desk and roughly brought her into his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, Donna.”

***   
“You wrote a memo!” 

Josh looked up from his work with a small smirk on his face.

“You wrote a memo on Mrs. Morello, Josh.”

“Well, yeah.”

She laughed and walked towards him. 

Of course Josh wrote a memo on Donna’s favorite teacher. Of course Josh, while making fun of her, was listening to Donna. Of course Josh knew how much this meant to Donna.

“Come here.”

Josh didn’t protest. He walked right into her waiting arms. 

***   
“Tonight was amazing Josh.”

And it was. A terrible day had turned into a truly magnificent night. They had gone to nine balls, danced together at each one, and Jack wasn’t ever a thought in her mind.

“I’m glad,” he said a little shyly. 

“Josh really, you didn’t have to come pick me up and take me to the inaugural balls with you. I did something unforgivable and-“

“Donna,” he forcefully said her name. “I told you, no more apologizing.”

“Okay,” she said, looking directly into his eyes and hugging him goodbye. 

“You really do look amazing tonight,” he whispered into her ear. 

***   
“Yeah, I’m still here.”

All Josh wanted to do was wrap Donna up in his arms and never let go. But he couldn’t. She was surrounded by machines and wires and looked as broken as he had felt just moments before he heard her voice. 

He leaned up to place the blanket more securely around her.

“Stay.”

He looked up at her, unsure what she meant by that.

“Don’t move.”

He felt the slightest amount of pressure on his head, and it clicked.

He placed his head next to her on the hospital bed. She ran her hands through his hair.

She wasn’t wrapped in his arms, safe from the world, but this right here, this was enough. 

***  
“He was so proud of you, Josh.”

Josh was slumped against her, her arm rubbing his back.

He had just lost the future vice president, his mentor, his father figure. And she knew he blamed himself. 

He stood up straight, attempting to collect himself. 

He’d been able to hold it together without crying for most of the day.

But here, in the quiet comfort of Donna’s presence, looking into her eyes and seeing a tender understanding, Josh finally, finally lost it.

Donna had never truly seen Josh cry. Not like this. Not in gut wrenching sobs that broke her heart. 

She collected him into her arms and he cried harder. 

Donna’s own eyes welled up with tears and she put her head against his.

“I’m here, Josh. And I’m not going anywhere.”

And so there they stood in the middle of an empty room, crying for the giant they had lost that night, and finding the comfort they so desperately needed in each other. 

***  
“I’ve been told I don’t have a life.”

“You don’t.”

It was their first day in Hawaii and Donna was unpacking her clothes when Josh had finally worked up the courage to have this particular conversation. 

He grabbed her hand and led her to their balcony, sitting them down on a lounge chair, facing each other. 

Josh was fidgety. “I’m so bad at this.”

Donna didn’t say anything, but sensing the shift in the tone of the conversation, she gently placed her hand on his thigh. 

“I’ve been told I don’t have a life. And that’s true. I don’t.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I want a life, Donna. I want a life with you.” 

Donna looked at him, a smile starting to form on her face.

“I know we need to have more conversations, about well, everything. But I need you to know. I want a life with you.”

“I want a life with you too, Josh.”

She launched herself into his arms, bringing them both down on the chair.

Her head rested on his chest and he mindlessly played with her hair. 

“Thanks for coming to Hawaii with me.”

“Thanks for asking.”

***  
It was a rare lazy Sunday, when both Josh and Donna were not needed in the office and were actually able to have a day off. 

They wound up getting out of bed around 8:30, which was dramatically late for them both. 

“I think I’m gonna make pancakes,” Donna stated, smiling at Josh’s bedhead. 

“With chocolate chips?” He looked like a little boy.

“Of course.”

And so they spent the morning making pancakes and bantering and just simply enjoying each other’s company and so, so happy. 

Josh spilled some batter on the floor and Donna playfully put some on his nose, both of them laughing with just pure joy. 

Josh’s eyes got serious.

He ran into his bedroom and came back out, Donna had now moved on to making a cup of coffee. 

“Donna?”

“What’s up?”

As she turned around she found Josh on one knee.

“Josh?” She whispered his name, tears already threatening to make an appearance. 

“This is what I want,” he started. “This. You and me and mornings filled with pancake batter and coffee and your smile.”

He laughed, finding himself getting choked up.

“I want this Donna. And I want you, forever.” He let out a small laugh again.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

Josh didn’t have a chance to stand up as Donna tackled them both to the ground. 

She was crying freely now, her face buried in his neck, his arms wrapped comfortably around her back. 

“I love you so much, Donna.”

“I love you too, Josh.”

And even though his back would kill him later, they stayed that way on the floor, happily holding each other close.

***

“Well?”

“It hasn’t been three minutes yet Josh.”

“How about now?”

“Josh!”

“Sorry.”

They were in their bathroom, pacing back and forth, waiting for the timer to go off. 

Josh couldn’t stop thinking about a tiny version of Donna, with his dimples, running around, holding his heart in her hands. 

His mom was going to be so excited.

The timer went off and Donna’s eyes grew huge. 

“You ready?” She asked, clearly nervous. 

“Yeah.”

He walked up behind her, putting his arms around her front.

She picked up the test, gently, as if any sudden movement would change its results. 

“Oh my god,” she breathed.

“Oh my god.”

“We’re having a baby, Donna.”

She turned around in his embrace and he held on tight, gently lifting her off the floor.

“Josh, we’re having a baby.”

They stood in the bathroom of their apartment, arms tight around each other, gently swaying.

**Author's Note:**

> There were so many instances I could have written for this! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
